The danger of the fear of disappointment

It’s not unusual that fear of disappointment stops people from taking action to achieve something they desire. Many do not allow themselves even to expect something better because they don’t want to be disappointed. 

People commonly tend to shield themselves from the possibility of experiencing the pain of disappointment, rejection, or failure by adopting a mindset of unbelief. To avoid pain, they don’t even try to pursue their dreams, convincing themselves that, for whatever reason, nothing is going to work out anyway. They choose to stay in a comfort zone, and to justify their fears and negative attitude, they call it a “realistic perspective.” In some ways, it is understandable because disappointment is hurtful indeed. However, while one side of the coin might be the comfort, the other side – missing the extraordinary life that you could have but didn’t pursue. 

Also, by trying to avoid disappointment, we might miss the opportunity given to us. We wish, desire, dream and ask God to answer our prayers, but when the answer comes in the form of an opportunity, out of fear of making a mistake or getting disappointed, we might decide not to use that opportunity, and in that way we might reject our answer from the Lord. I was very close to that.

Inga Lizdenyte sits on a chair in a downtown square, looking into the horizon.

It is hard to imagine what would have happened if, out of fear of disappointment, I would have rejected the prosthetic specialist’s Michael’s offer to come to Istanbul to meet him for his evaluation of my prosthetic legs. His response to my email was like a breath of fresh air. Finally, someone heard my cry for help! Having suffered excruciating pain and emotional anguish for two years, I felt hope, joy, and excitement at the prospect of moving forward.

But there was also a caution and a wish to protect myself from disappointment. While preparing for the trip to Turkey, I heard opinions that I was making a big mistake, that I should “think realistically” because this specialist lives on the other side of the globe from us and he won’t be able to work with me anyway. This meeting will only stir up hope that cannot be realistically fulfilled. Traveling to Turkey to meet him would be a waste of money and efforts.

Indeed, the fear of disappointment was like my shadow, whispering to me, “What if your meeting with Michael will not give you any good results? The new hope that lit up within you will come crashing down again. Are you sure you’re ready to take another hit?”

I knew this was the answer to my prayers, and I was ready to use this opportunity despite anyone’s opinions. Today, when I look back, the fact is if I had listened to the fear of disappointment, I would not have met Michael, come to America, or realized my dream to walk again. Furthermore, I would not live in California today and would not have implemented my vision of being able to live an independent and fulfilling life. 

Can you imagine? If I had followed my fear of disappointment at that time, my story would have developed in a very different way. I would not have the life I do today. One time, one choice would have directed my destiny entirely differently!

A man stands at the crossing paths. One choice can determine a future. Fear of the disappointment is a choice that can determine the future.

As I write this, once again, I realize that my wish to avoid the pain of disappointment could have easily rejected God’s created opportunity. I would have shut the door, which opened up for me to realize my dream to walk and live a fulfilling, beautiful life. 

It may seem wise to run away from disappointment or to avoid making a mistake. It is easier to listen to the fear of failure and not take that risky step to be safe. However, it can be a big mistake, one that could determine our future.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we should take every opportunity that comes our way, that we shouldn’t consider any facts before making a decision, or that we shouldn’t be careful.

I am saying this: think carefully about your decision before you say “No” to the opportunity because maybe it has come to bring you exactly what you desire, what you have been praying for. 

Surrendering to fear can cost you your opportunity.

I remembered the words of an author that pushed me to use the opportunity that came my way, to not listen to the fear of “What if…”, step out of my comfort zone, and in faith, step into the unknown in order to create the kind of life I’ve dreamed of since the accident.

“Four things never come back: the spoken word, the fired arrow, the past life and the missed opportunity.” ~ O Mandino

This was one of the best decisions that I have made. It transformed my life. 

I sincerely wish you the same. 

More to Read:

Do you feel that someone or something has ruined your life chances?

It is not the event that has the power to determine your future…

No circumstance is your final destination. It can be changed, even if it seems impossible

My YouTube Channel:

Check out my YouTube channel, where I will post videos about my journey of life’s transformation after the tragic car accident, lessons learned, and practical advice and coaching to inspire and empower you to overcome and be unstoppable.

My book UNSTOPPABLE is an inspirational autobiography and personal development book grounded in the author’s Christian faith. It follows the story of Inga Lizdenyte, a woman who transformed her life after a tragic car accident, where the chances stacked against her proved all but insurmountable. From being incapable of speaking or moving or doing anything independently, to traveling from Europe and moving to the United States, the book emerges as a valuable testimony to the power of God.

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After her accident, Inga landed in a world she never knew could exist. Her destiny had been crushed and she stood at the crossroads: to give in or to fight. Inga chose to reclaim her life. Yet the lesson learned was that even when matters seem on the way to redemption, the worst can occur. With only steps away from achieving the impossible, everything for Inga had been destroyed all over again. The fruits of her hard work and her continuous efforts were ruined.

Realizing that its not events or the choices of others that can break her, with the Lords intervention, Inga picked herself up and continued her journey in spite of the odds. Intended to inspire and ignite faith, Unstoppable becomes more than a harrowing account, it is a book that reveals; it inescapably touches the heart, but delves as well into the secrets that kept Inga going, equipping readers with the knowledge to break through their own hardships, overcome their obstacles, and to achieve the goals most important to the life they’ve been chosen to live.

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