Have you met people who would share their broken destiny or any unsuccessful outcomes and would say that it’s someone else’s fault; everything would have turned out differently if that person would not have done something or that event would not have happened?
What do you think: our life depends more on the events that happen or on what we do after they happen?
It’s not an easy topic to discuss. There are so many life stories that have questions with no answers to “Why?” But I want to show you a fine line, which is hard to see but which has an enormous power in our destiny.
Of course, some events can drastically affect our lives. I personally have experienced the event that completely changed the course of my life. I’m sure you also have associated with people who strongly impacted your life and sure, we could say that they are to blame for our current circumstances. But let’s look at it from a different angle.
In order to have an easier way to explain my point, I will use my own life as an example.
When, after the accident, the first three years I lived stuck at home with no opportunity to continue a full, active lifestyle, all the blame was pointed toward the accident. My life was drastically changed due to the car accident.
And if I had continued my life that way, no one would be saying anything bad about me, but they would have a very simple, clear explanation: “It’s the accident’s fault; it was because of that tragic event she lost almost half of her body and is forced to live this way.” There would be a short statement about my life, that “the car accident broke Inga’s destiny.”
Thank God, today I am in a different position in life. I lead an active, meaningful and fulfilling life in a beautiful part of the world in spite of the consequences of the car accident. The same event – car accident – but with an entirely different outcome. But, nobody is saying that I live such a beautiful life due to the tragic event. In this case, when there is a discussion about my current living conditions, all the focus is directed at me, and it is said that it’s all because of my efforts and hard work. And I get congratulations for attaining such a transformation after the crash.
But if I would not have taken the initiative and have not made many changes in my life, I would have continued living as I did in the first three years. Who would be to blame for that?
Can you see that fine line? What determined the course of my life – the event or what I did after that event?
The quality of our lives and often our destiny is determined not by the events that take place in our lives, but what we do afterward. Our choices how we respond to problems, choices of how we dealt with unexpected changes, betrayals, and hardships, or our decisions after we had success at some point determine our subsequent circumstances.
Is it right to blame events or someone saying that they ruined our lives, if we give in to a self-pity, and stop even trying to improve our circumstances? Can we shift the responsibility on someone else, if we see our life collapsing, but do nothing to stop the fall and not make any changes? Or, first we try to make some changes, but then with the first challenges, we drop the ball saying that it is too difficult to handle, and end up blaming the events or other people for our broken destiny.
And what if we would say to ourselves, ”Yes, maybe the circumstances that occurred were beyond my control and I could not prevent them. But what happens next is entirely up to me. I will move forward in spite of any difficulties and do everything I can to improve my circumstances.”
Maybe you were dealing with some events you could not control. But remember, your life is in your hands, not in the hands of your problems and circumstances. What had happened to you earlier is not the judge that hands down the sentence for the years ahead. It is Gods will for your life and your new choices will determine what your future will look like. If you did not succeed a year ago or yesterday, it does not mean you won’t succeed today or tomorrow. Your past events cannot determine how you feel nor can they determine your future, if you decide not to dwell on your past, but move forward creating the life you desire.
As you continue your journey through life, certain people or events will impact your circumstances, and even might direct your life in a certain way. But they can’t determine how you will live your life. The story that will be written in your life’s book will depend on you and your choices, not on other people or circumstances.
I sincerely wish you to rise above all the pain that you had to experience, and step forward and fulfill that, which you have been dreaming of. Remember, it is not what happens to you or what people do to you that has the power to determine your future. They only have power if you let them.
If you are ready to make some changes but don’t know how I have prepared a tool that will answer the question “How?” It’s on my website http://becomingunstoppable.org/, scroll down a little bit and on the right side you will see my model “7 Steps Forward.” These are the steps I personally took to change my life. All the best to you!